Friday 20 January 2012

I'm not a bad mother, just sometimes a useless one.

Ok, so that title is a little over dramatic.

Some days I feel like that though.

I'm guessing that a lot of parents have their off days.

For me, I feel useless when I forget something vital like my spare nappies in his bag or his bib for lunch when we are eating out (because I am human and busy).

Or when I take my attention off him for that moment when he decides to get the courage to climb up on his high chair and dive off landing face first on the laminate (because I am human and busy and he is an independent and fearless child).

Or when I take him to The Ceramic Experience (one of these 'my baby just loves to be creative and do hand prints on ceramics' type of places) and he screams and cries because he would rather be running around the shop or playing in the soft play (because he just isn't ready for this yet and I have too high expectations).

Or when we go to Mothercare with JC on reins and he spends the whole time straining and pulling in the opposite direction and giving the occasional protest shriek. Whilst passing mother's with angelic textbook children who roll their eyes in disapproval (because he is a spirited child and they obviously have no idea what it's like to raise one, either that they have a crap memory).

Or when I lose my temper and shout at him because after 3 attempt to pull my straighteners cord from my hand he manages to get it from me and it lands inches from his hands (because I am human and because I was so scared that he had hurt himself).

These are just a few isolated examples of course and the Mummy guilt goes a lot deeper than what I've listed here.

Some days I think I am doing a great job and that he is the most adorable little person on the planet but then I have an off day like today and I wonder if I actually have a clue about motherhood. But even on these days, I still love him and I still think he's adorable and I still thank my lucky stars that I have him in my life.

2 comments:

  1. I dont think there is a mother alive who doesnt suffer from those exact feeling, but you are the best mummy tou can be and he wouldnt have you any other way, you are his favourite person on the planet and he adores you always x

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you Alyson, I think I am guilty of trying to be perfect for him all the time but I forget that he just needs me to be me. X

    ReplyDelete

I love to read your comments . . .